Episode 29: “Baby’s First Podcast” (w/ Ben Baur!)

''This week we’re joined by actor Ben Baur to talk about the remake of the film that gave us our theme song: 2009’s SORORITY ROW! Mark shares his real-life Xenomorph experience, Michael picks out his favorite extra, and Nay leads a candid chat about the passing of Nipsey Hussle. Plus, in Tea Time we sip on SANTA CLARITA DIET, SCREAM 4, and MULHOLLAND DRIVE.''

Trivia
Nay: And today we are coming to you not from a sorority house, because we would never

Michael: No

Mark: No

Nay: Yeah, I dunno, that's my personal opinion

Michael: We're coming from Carrie Fisher's kitchen

Mark: Yeah, oh God

Nay: True

Mark: Man, that bummed me out. Anyway

Nay: Me too

Topics brought up during the episode: Huntingseason.tv, Next Level Shit (short about internalized bottom shame) and The Office is Mine (horror short made with friend of the pod Michael Varratti, about gays competing for territory within an office)

Tea Time
Michael: started watching the newest season of Schitt's Creek (season 4); Scream 4

Nay: Mourning Nipsey Hussle

Mark: Mulholland Drive

Ben: all of Santa Clarita Diet season three

Pride Float
Mark: So, does this movie get a Pride float?

Nay and Michael: No

Ben: No

Brennan: No

Nay: No

Mark: (chuckling) It was really a rhetorical question. I just--

Nay: They're doing party education on like, how to know if you drank too much, how to know if your friend's drunk too much, here's a Lyft code...

Brennan: How to know when a prank has gone too far

Nay: Yeah. They gotta do education

Michael: If I was a parent and my kid was gonna be-- is a senior in college, I would show them this movie and go, "When you go to school next year, don't do any of this."

Nay: Yeah

Ben: Yeah

Michael: Just don't. It's like a "How Not To"

Mark: I say no Pride float. This movie to me was a heterosexual nightmare

Ben: Not wrong. Not wrong

Brennan: In lieu of a Pride float, may I present a clip package that I have prepared

Mark: Please

Ben: Yes

Michael: I do love this AV Club article I read that said, "Step one of chopping up a body is driving a tire-iron straight through the heart. Everybody knows that."

Nay: (To Michael) You told me something else that was really funny

Michael: Oh, read this whole thing because it's fucking hilarious

Mark: Where's it from?

Michael: It's from AV Film and the title is, "I Know What the Writers of Sorority Row Watched Last Summer"

Mark: Who wrote it?

Michael: Amelie Gillette

Mark: Oh! That's nice

Michael: She said, "The thing about pranks is there's always someone who takes things too far, this ruining the joke for everyone. I mean, sure, it's funny to call up the most dead-eyed cast member of The Hills and tell her you want her to star in your House on Sorority Row remake, which starts shooting tomorrow, so don't be late! And yes, it's also funny to do the same thing to Bruce Willis and Demi Moore's daughter. Of course that's a good prank! And it's all stifled laughter and swallowed guffaws for the first day as you watch the girls struggle to act and take the whole being a movie star thing seriously. But really there's a point when you have to drop the charade and tell them it's a prank. Otherwise, you're actually making a House on Sorority Row remake and no one wants that."

Mark: Oooof

Michael: That is amazing

Ben: That's incredible

Nay: I can't

Brennan: All right, I prepared a clip selection of my favorite character--

Michael: Ellie

Brennan: Rumer Willis's Ellie, who is freaking out at a thousand percent for the entire movie

Ben: The entire movie, the entire time

Mark: She spends the entire movie just unraveling

Brennan: Yeah

Michael: It's like, "How big is this ball?"

Nay: 'Til the end

Michael: It just keeps unraveling

Mark: Yes

Brennan: If it was one of those memes where it's the subtitles it would just be like, "[Yowls from afar.]"

Michael:Or like, "[Unintelligible laugh into screaming.]"

Brennan: So here's a little bit of her

(The clip package starts at 1:06:18 and runs until about 1:07:00)

Michael: Screams at a text message. We have to post, I took a pic of her hiding--

Nay: That was fucking great

Ben: Oh, God!

Michael: And she literally goes, (as Ellie) "I've gotta do something!"

Ben: And then she goes in the closet…

Michael: Yeah, she pulls the closet and just stands there. I paused it and was like, "Brian get out here!"

Ben: You see her legs, oh God

Michael: He was like, "Oh my God. Is that someone hiding?" I was like, "Yep!" And then we don't see her again until--

Mark: She saves the day

Ben: Yeah

Nay: Until she takes off her glasses and fucks 'em all up

Michael: For some reason she's able to shoot a shotgun

Nay: Yeah

Michael: And tell someone, "Wrap yourself up in that curtain."

Mark: Well, since she's literally the only character capable of empathy…

Michael: True

Ben: Yeah

Michael: True

Mark: Maybe this is the filmmakers' sort of stab at, you know, sort of redefining a final girl status, but it is interesting to have a final girl be such a goddamn mess the whole movie

Nay: And a virgin, right? Wait, one of them, didn't they make a joke about one of them?

Michael: I think it's her

Nay: Yeah. Yeah

Ben: Oh, it's definitely her

Brennan: She's the nerdy smart one because she has glasses on

Nay: Yeah

Michael: Yeah

Nay: They're like, "Redhead. Glasses."

Mark: (sing-song) "Glasses!"

Michael: Briana Evigan gets her final girl trophy stolen in like the last ten minutes of the movie, and she's supposed to be it the whole movie. That is just the most wooden performance

Mark: I mean, like--

Ben: (faux haughtily) She is a dancer!

Mark: The Golem. Just like, I mean, oh my God. Wood-en

Michael: Could you name a worse final girl?

Mark: A worse final girl than Briana Evigan?

Michael: Mmm-hmm

Brennan: Urban Legend, Alicia Witt

Michael: Natalie's pretty boring

Brennan: And also--

Michael: She's pretty resourceful, though

Brennan: Yeah, but okay--

Michael: Although so is Cassidy in this. She actually starts beating the shit out of him with lamps like crazy

Brennan: Okay

Nay: Well, like, once

Mark: I mean, I don't like to cast aspersions on final girls, but…

Michael: True. It's fine. It's Alicia Witt

Mark: I have to say that if there's one that's worse than Briana, it's Megan's sister in this, who literally is just--

Michael: She looks lost

Mark: She somehow manages-- oh, by the way, if we can talk like peak misogyny in this movie, there's the scene where Leah Pipes comes back to the room, she's like, and Megan's sister, I literally don't know her name--

Ben: Yeah

Mark: But she is literally like, (as Megan's sister) "I fucked your boyfriend, because you fucked mine." (alternating between Leah Pipes and Megan's sister) "You're a slut!" "You're a whore!" They literally start fighting in their underwear--

Ben: Mmm-hmm

Michael: Yeah, it gets into the hallway

Mark: Yeah. And it's just like, "Is this serious? Is this-- I don't, I don't know. What's the tone? I don't know what the tone is."

Ben: Yeah

Mark: It's fascinating

Michael: Well, one knows there's a killer on the loose, one doesn't

Nay: (chuckling) "Okay, well this? Over it."

Mark: And then when Megan's sister finds out there is a killer on the loose, she is remarkably calm

Ben: Well, because she thinks that it might be Megan, so she's like, "What? My sister's alive?"

Michael: Yeah, my favorite is when she sees a person in a giant black cloak, she goes--

Mark, Michael and Nay: (as Megan's sister) "Megan? Is that you?"

Ben: Yeah yeah yeah

Mark: Oh my God, this movie

Ben: But I remember when she hears the shotguns going off, she's like, (as Megan's sister) "Megan, no!!" (normal voice) And then like runs off, and I died

Quotes
Nay: Today we have a guest that's pretty special to me, because I have a list of very cool people that I've met on the dance floor, and one of those people is our guest today

Michael: Oh yeah

Nay: So I'd like to go ahead and introduce him

Michael: Do it

Nay: Ben Baur, you're here!

Nay: Let me read Ben's bio so we can get to know some of who he is: "Ben Baur is a previous Out 100 honoree, who can be seen in television shows such as The Following, Happily Divorced and Difficult People. Ben has also appeared in a variety of web series such as These People, Tough Love and Hunting Season." Ben and I met on the dance floor, both cutting a rug, may I add

Ben: Doing what we could, yeah

Ben: I'm just putting this out there, this is "Baby's First Podcast".

Michael: Really?

Mark: What???

Ben: Yeah. So I'm very nervous

Michael: Don't be

Ben: (exhales) Okay. Just be gentle

Nay: (disappointed) Oh. All right. That's fine

Michael: We'll try

Nay: No, it's fine. We can

Mark: (seductively) We've done this before

Nay: Yeah, exactly. And as a communicative top, if you say to be gentle, that's what I'm gonna do

Ben: Oh, thanks girl. I appreciate that

Nay: Yeah. Of course

Michael: I love that, Nay

Mark: It's important as a top to have listening skills

Michael: Yeah. Communication's key

Nay: Seriously. Yeah

Mark: 'Cause everyone's been with one where you're like, "Hello? Is this thing on?" (taps microphone) "Hello?" Yeah

Nay: Yeah. And you're like, "Are you doing that for fun or are you really just not listening to anything?"

Ben: (indistinct)

Mark: Also, you know, "Ow, ow, ow!"

Michael: I had so many dirty things I wanted to say, but i refrained

Mark: Why are you refraining?

Nay: Wow, yeah. What's the occasion?

Michael: It would be bad, even for me

Nay: Damn. Michael's the nastiest of all of us

Mark: (chuckling) Okay?

Michael: I've been super busy, but I started watching, finally, the newest season of Schitt's Creek and I know I've talked about that here before, but I just love that show so much. It's so sweet

Mark: I've had Alexis's audition song in my head--

Ben: (gasps) "La la la la la-la-la…"

Mark: I've had it in my head legit like, a week. It won't go away

Michael: Her hand gestures

Mark: Oh my God

Michael: And how she sits there like this, and--

Mark: Anne Francis is so fuckin' funny on that show

Michael: Do you know that someone once said in an interview, "Why are your hands like perched in front of your chest?" And she got it from the Kardashians. So she modeled it after them. And Brian and I noticed recently that how many times an episode she wipes her hair away from her face? But she does it in such a specific way

Brennan: But she's so delicate

Nay: And is there hair there to actually wipe away?

Michael: Never. Never. It's like a gay guy who has shaved sides and he's always doing that, like doing it behind his ears

Nay: I do that with my glasses when I'm not wearing them

Michael: But, I've been seeing a lot of stuff online lately just about how Catherine O'Hara's accent is just one-of-a-kind and it's so true

Ben: It's magical. It's so good.

Michael: It's beautiful

Ben: She's a treasure

Michael: Oh, I love her

Brennan: I do think the writers constructed this entire season out of getting her to say the word "baby" as many times as possible

Michael: "Bay-beh"? Oh, absolutely

Brennan: "Bay-beh!"

Nay: Hot

Michael: "It's not our fault you had a bay-beh."

Ben: (laughing) Yeah

Michael: (laughing) So great!

Michael: So that's about it. And I watched Scream 4 recently because that seems to be getting like, talked about recently. People have started to-- someone from Fangoria was talking about it, so it kinda became a thing. I think it's because Netflix Canada ranked the Scream films

Nay: Mmm-hmm

Michael: And they put Scream 2 first, so it started like a whole controversy?

Nay: Yes

Michael: And then (Scream) 4 kind of became the topic of conversation after that

Mark: As the resident Canadian, I am going to break with my country of origin and--

Michael: I will take your place, then

Mark: I am going to go on record and say that Scream 2 is not better than the first Scream

Brennan: Seconded

Michael: I'm against you both

Mark: I'm sorry. The first Scream, just in terms of its existence, it was watershed. It basically created the revival of the subgenre in the Nineties

Michael: Created a subgenre, yeah

Mark: And I just think it's a slap in the face to Scream to say that Scream 2 is better. And I say that as someone who thoroughly enjoys Scream 2, because Portia De Rossi

Michael: I mean that whole movie, I just love every second

Brennan: (as Portia de Rossi in Scream 2) "Hi. No, I really mean that. Hi."

Michael: (as Portia de Rossi in Scream 2) "Harmonica style's okay."

Ben: Oh my God, I love that

Michael: So yeah, I watched horror again recently and I know (Scream 4) had a lot of shit going on behind the scenes while it was being made…

Mark: Yeah, there's stuff. (chuckling) I'll just leave it at that, yeah

Michael: There was stuff publicly. Wes Craven even at one point during filming was interviewed and said, "It's not even my movie anymore."

Mark: Oh, God

Michael: He literally used those words

Mark: Wow. He said this on record?

Michael: He said this on record.

Mark: Yeah

Michael: They're like, "What do you mean?" And he's like, "There was a point where I was making Kevin's script and then I started making somebody else's."

Nay: (chuckling) Okay

Mark: Gross!

Michael: So he kind of had to backtrack three days later, but the movie actually plays better now than it did eight years ago

Brennan: Oh, absolutely!

Michael: So

Mark: Doesn't it end with Emma Roberts getting electrocuted?

Michael: She gets… the paddles, the reviving paddles

Mark: The defibrillator

Michael: Defibrillator on her head by Sydney

Mark: Wow

Ben: Fuck

Nay: Sydney

Mark: Ornate

Nay: Syd!

Michael: But her whole motive is amazing

Mark: It's something

Michael: "I don't need friends, I need fans." It's so fucking awesome. It's so today. It was ahead of its time in that way

Ben: Sick

Nay: That's true

Nay: I have been in a little bit of a grief hole all week after the passing of Nipsey Hussle. And of course have like, revisited his discography all week, over and over again. And came across this song I was not aware of. It's actually a YG song that features Nipsey, it's called "F.DT." which stands for "Fuck Donald Trump".

Michael: Mmmm!

Mark: All right, I'm listening

Nay: And the whole chorus is basically, "Fuck Donald Trump," and it was just really cathartic

Michael: Oh, good!

Nay: To listen to that song, and to scream that song along with

Mark: It really is a tragedy

Nay: Yeah

Mark: I'm glad someone's in custody, but he was really invested in giving back to the community

Nay: Yup

Michael: Sure was

Mark: It was just really like, "Really?"

Nay: Yeah. I think it hit really hard for a lot of folks. And like with anyone's death, especially the death of a man, a straight man, it's complicated. There's like a complicated history of opinions and ideas and I think for a lot of us, at least for myself, as I get older, I am more aware of how problematic maybe some of my faves have or have not been

Michael: Mmm-hmm

Nay: And there's been a lot going around on the internet this week about like, how we mourn folks who have said things we don't agree with, or have said things that are detrimental to our communities. And I think that for myself, as a Black woman, as a Black person, as a queer Black person in Los Angeles for many years now, the death hit me really hard, and I mean (sighs) as someone who is really invested in hip-hop and has always felt really attached to it, I have, like many folks, favorite artists and songs who as a grown-er person now, have to really examine and think about. But regardless of all of those things, it was definitely a hard, sad week. I wasn't far from the store during the shooting--

Michael: Oh jeez!

Nay: And so I saw the helicopters and couldn't leave my friend's house for hours, just because it sounded scary outside, you know? Like lots of helicopters, lots of sirens, lots of voices, and so I was just pouring my grief into listening to his music, but also creating a memorial piece--

Michael: Yeah, that's what you said.

Nay: We're gonna install this weekend

Michael: Oh, cool! I can't wait to see it

Nay: Yeah, it's pretty cool. Thank you. But yeah, check out "F.D.T."

Mark: I really feel like around, especially Leaving Neverland coming out, the conversation around how do we reassess or absorb problematic art or absorb art by problematic people has sort of shifted a little bit. Because I think it was people-- you know, when it's a supernova like Michael Jackson, it's music that's so a part of so many people's lives that it's Impossible to just sort of like-- I mean, look, I don't believe in cancel culture, I believe in "two things can be true at once"

Nay: Yeah

Michael: Right

Mark: Someone can be a genius and a total fucking monster

Nay: Oh, absolutely

Mark: That you don't necessarily need to hire or give money to, but you can still appreciate stuff in the past, you know what I mean? But I think it's personal and it's individual for everybody. But it's interesting. (To Nay) I'm interested to hear you talk more, because I haven't heard you talk much in the past about what it means to you to reassess your relationship to artists you adore that you also go, "Oh. And you're also this," you know?

Nay: Uh, yeah. I think a very long story short is that for people who have multiple marginalized identities, and I think especially for me as a fat person, it's like almost every single person in my life is fatphobic. Or at some point has said something to me that's really fucked up. I have lived an existence that has constantly had to compromise with loved ones, with co-workers-- and I'm not saying that anyone has to do that or doesn't have to do that. But something that came up for me a lot was like, thinking about when my Mom passes, or like her sisters, people that raised me, that I love very much. I will be so full of grief. I will also be like, "That person was racist." Like, straight-up. Like not even coding, like says racist things, thinks they are not a racist for saying those things, which is the worst kind of racist. Like way more scary than the people that are like, "Yeah, I'm racist." And obviously that's your family and that means a lot of different things to people, but I think I'm very used to understanding that more than one reality can be true at the same time, and so, I would be hurt if when a family member of mine died and someone was just like, "That person was racist trash." But I couldn't necessarily disagree with them. I'd be like, "I'm still really hurt, but that's not false." And I think it's really important to acknowledge all of those things at once, because that is what is happening and that is what is true. And so, we have to do that, regardless of what has come out about a particular person or artist, it's like that may not have extinguished your grief in that moment. It might have added to it, if anything.

Michael: Well, I think we live in a world now, too, where being conflicted is not okay to people for some reason. It's like, you gotta accept either "A" or "B"

Nay: Yeah. But it's like you need to be!

Michael: Yeah. It's like--

Mark: I think living in the question sometimes can be like, "Well, some things are just not, there's just no clear answer," but trying to have twenty-twenty vision about all sides of an issue or a person or whatever

Michael: Anything

Mark: In Program, people say at the end of twelve-step meetings, "Take what you like, but leave the rest." And I think that applies to, not just to situations, but also you know, to people you meet

Michael: Yeah

Mark: Doesn't mean you have to spend all your time with them, or like, you know, marry them, but it does mean everybody's got something good about 'em, but... everybody's problematic as fuck!

Nay: Yeah

Michael: We all have things we regret. I know I do. I mean, when my Dad died a year ago Saturday, and the past year has been conflicted 'coz I love my Dad, but there's parts of him where I'm like, "Ohh."

Nay: Yeah

Michael: Like it's my grief and my view of my Dad is completely different than one of my siblings

Nay: Yeah. Oh, absolutely! Yeah!

Mark: And it doesn't make it any less true, right?

Michael: Exactly, right?

Nay: Yeah

Michael: So like, you, what I'm finding now, it took me about eleven months, but channeling it into art is really helping me

Nay: Fuck yeah

Michael: Isn't it great?

Nay: I hear that, yeah

Michael: It's so cool, so--

Nay: Yes

Michael: Something good can come out of it

Nay: Yeah

Mark: I channel my grief into murder

Michael: To murder me tomorrow

Mark: You wanna know the truth? I sat here and I delayed and I punted to you guys because I can't fucking remember. That's how tired I am

Michael: Well you've been so busy

Mark: I've had such a stupid week that I am, stupid busy week that I am just like, "What did I watch?"

Michael: Do you remember driving here?

Nay: Oh no

Mark: I do

Michael: D you ever have that?

Nay: Yes!

Michael: You're like, "How the fuck did I just get here?"

Mark: (vapid white girl voice) "I don't even know how I got here."

Michael: As you're putting it in park

Mark: (vapid white girl voice) "Did you drive me?"

Michael: (vapid white girl voice) "Oh wait, I'm alone."

Mark: (vapid white girl voice) "Are you my Uber?" (normal voice).We rewatched Mulholland Drive. God, what a beautiful movie. That's all

Michael: I haven't seen that movie in a really long time. It might be time for a revisit

Mark: It's so beautiful. It's so-- I mean, it should be covered on this pod someday

Michael: Yeah

Mark: It really is, like I think, in a filmmaker's canon that I truly adore, I think it's definitely top five. Possibly top three

Michael: I gotta revisit that

Mark: It's stunning

Michael: I haven't seen that probably in fifteen years

Mark: Yeah, just amazing work all around in that movie, and it manages to be funny and strange and terrifying and very moving, too

Michael: I feel like it would be the type of movie too, where, I haven't seen it in forever, but the type of movie where you see something new every time you watch it

Mark: Yes! Yes. Absolutely. So I highly recommend it. It was almost as good… I'm just kidding.

(Everyone laughs)

Mark: I was going to low-key introduce this week's movie, but I couldn't do that to Mulholland Drive

Ben: Don't do it. Don't do it

Michael: We also need to hear about what Ben's been watching

Mark: I know!

Ben: A couple days ago, my fiancee was out of town and I was like, "You know what? I'm gonna do laundry!" So I did my laundry and drank two bottles of wine and watched all ten episodes of season three of Santa Clarita Diet

Nay: Yes!

Mark: Oh!

Brennan: No spoilers, please

Ben: I didn't even realize that I had watched the entire thing until it was over, and I was just like, "No. I want more!" I just love that show so much

Nay: Me too

Ben: I think Drew Barrymore is a goddamn angel

Nay: Fuckin' love her

Ben: And watching her in this family comedy in which she's eating people all over the place and blood is splattering all the walls, I'm just like, "This is quality television and I need more of it."

Nay: I completely agree, and I love that show

Ben: It's so good!

Nay: And I watched all of it as well

Michael: I couldn't get into it

Brennan: I'm so impressed by both of you. I'm only on episode one, but it's really good!

Michael: Episode one of season one?

Brennan: Of season three, the new season

Michael: I hoped it was the pilot. That would've been funnier

Brennan: I'm not that behind

Michael: I do love Timothy Olyphant

Nay: Yes

Brennan: So good

Ben: He's dreamy

Brennan: But I did tweet about this moment, so I know you all read it. There's a part in the first episode where (Timothy Olyphant) is impersonating a scholar-- it's a mini-heist of information, basically. And he has to pretend he's a scholar. And while he's like, "Oh yes, I'm a scholar, trying to study this thing." And he just holds up a pen as if it's his credentials. Like, "Look, I couldn't possibly be lying to you. I'm holding up a pen. Only scholars have pens." And it's just such a subtle, little physical tic and it's so beautiful

Mark: Timothy Olyphant is consistently under-appreciated

Michael: I agree. He's good in everything he does

Mark: Timothy, you hear this? You're great!

Michael: (whispering) We'll whisper this in your ear, Timothy.

Mark: (whispering) You're doing so good!

Michael: (whispering) Feel free to come! On the show!

Nay: Oh, wow. Okay

Ben: Wow. Yeah yeah yeah. Either way

Michael: That, too

Mark: Oh! It's hard being this classy all the time

Michael: I didn't intend it to be that way, by the way, just paused at the wrong part

Brennan: (to Ben) Did you watch anything else?

Ben: No, that's all that I really watched-- oh, no! I just got Shudder--

Michael: Ohhhhh! Good job, Ben

Ben: Yeah. We got it so that we could watch A Discovery of Witches, because my fiancee read those books and really loved it. Matthew Goode? He's on that show and I think he is--

Michael: He's dreamy

Ben: So dreamy.

Michael: Mmm-hmm

Ben: I love him so much

Michael: Stoker? Highly recommended

Ben: I actually haven't seen that one. Okay, gonna have to check that out. But while I was going through everything that's on Shudder, I watched You Might Be the Killer

Michael: Oh, I watched that recently

Brennan: Oh, that movie's so fun!

Ben: It's so fun! And I love Allyson Hannigan, and it was-- I love that kind of thing, you know, they lay out the rules and then just completely fuck with them. I thought that was great

Michael: Do you know that movie's based on a Twitter thread?

Ben: Is it really?

Michael: Yeah

Ben: I did not know that

Michael: It's based on-- I forget the two guys. Chuck Wendig, I think, was the recipient of the first tweet, and it was like, I dunno if he knew the guy or not, but the guy was like, "Chuck. I'm at a camp. All the counselors are dead. What do I do?" And they literally went back and forth for like a hundred and fifty tweets that became a meme

Ben: That's so funny

Michael: And they turned it into a film. (sotto voce) I actually think the tweets are better than the movie

Brennan: But Fran Kranz wasn't in the tweets

Michael: Yeah. He's good in that

Mark: (bored and sarcastic) Ew, meta summer camp horror. Boo! Blech.

Michael: (faux disgust) "One of those"

Mark: I know. (bored and sarcastic) Yawn

Michael: I actually watched Joe Bob too, I forgot

Mark: What was the double feature?

Michael: It was…

Brennan: Wasn't it C.H.U.D.?

Michael: C.H.U.D. and Castle Freak, which was so fun to watch.

Brennan: The bomb

Michael: I hadn't seen that in forever, and I didn't realize-- I didn't really watch any of the Joe Bob stuff that came out last year, but I watched all of Friday and it was a lot of fun. He went on a rant about the Miss America pageant, it was really funny. So problematic

Mark: Yeah, I remember when Joe Bob came back and I was like, "Yay, Joe Bo-- oh. Oh God. Oh God!"

Michael: Yeah, that's kind of why I stepped away for a minute

Mark: Yeah. And so, as like Nay, you were talking about, problematic faves. You're like, "Oh, there's Uncle Joe Bob…"

Nay: Oooof. So scary

Mark: "We love him. Gosh, we love him because he shows up on the TV to bring us C.H.U.D."

Michael: Yeah!. And he also had Barbara Crampton

Mark: And we're also like, "Shhhh. (indistinct) Joe Bob."

Michael: And then he also had, he celebrated Barbara Crampton's career. And she was on

Mark: She seems pretty awesome

Michael: And she was great

Mark: She seems like, insanely lovely

Michael: Yes. She tweeted today that she wants to be the "Betty White of horror" and I could not want anything more for her

Brennan: Awww!

Mark: How could you not love, how do you not love?

Michael: Right? She's like, "I wanna talk about the horror movies I've done for the next thirty years just like Betty White and her comedies," so--

Mark: Come on!

Michael: I'm like, someone write a role for her! I will write a role for her

Mark: Amen

Mark and Michael: (sing the rhythm to "My Sharona")

Mark: (ghoulish voice) La Llorona!

Michael: I was gonna say, (to the tune of "My Sharona") "Is it over?"

Brennan: Uh, rude, first of all. This is all I have!

Michael: Just messin' with ya, Brennan

Brennan: This is my entire brand, Michael. I've been tagged in so many tweets

Michael: I was telling Mark last week outside the show how much I've been enjoying--

Brennan: Awww! Thank you

Michael: Yeah. Love your "La Llorona Corner".

Brennan: I'm blushing

Mark: (brightly) Anyway, it's time for a bathroom break!

Brennan: For those not in the know, because I feel like Ben's gonna get us new listeners who haven't heard me talk before, so. La Llorona is a Mexican folk tale, she's a woman who was spurned by her man, she drowned her kids in the river. If your kids go out after dark, she's gonna drown them too

Michael: And you've been talking about these--

Mark: It's her brand

Brennan: Yeah

Michael: several weeks, how many weeks in a row now? Six?

Brennan: Oh, God. Eighteen nine thousand?

Mark: Approximately nine thousand

Michael: He was talking about one a week for the past six weeks or so

Ben: Oh, I've been listening

Michael: Oh

Ben: I'm a fan of "La Llorona Corner"

Michael: All right, cool!

Nay: (weird voice) Oh my God

Brennan: Well, this one--

Michael: I actually saw the tweet where (Ben) discovered the show. You like tweeted something.

Ben: Yeah?

Michael: "How the hell did I not know about this show?"

Ben: 'Cause this show is everything that I've ever wanted to listen to

Nay: Oh my God, thank you!

Michael: We asked Katherine McPhee to give it to the gays and she did

Brennan: Anyway, so--

Michael: Can't wait to hear the title of this one

Brennan: It's not that interesting. I'm sorry

Michael: Dammit. It's not KM 31 2?

Brennan: No. This is one that I teased, this is the animated one that I watched.

Michael: Oh!

Nay: Oh!

Mark: They did an animated La Llorona movie?

Brennan: Yeah. It's called La Lleyenda de La Llorona, which means, "The Legend of La Llorona". It's actually the second in a children's spooky franchise in Mexico. It's huge in Mexico

Mark: Really, this corner always has surprises

Brennan: There's twists and turns

Michael: Around every corner!

Brennan: They've done a bunch, there's been like five movies and a Netflix TV show based on this property. They've done movies about La Nuala, the mummies of Guanajuato, and the chupacabras, things like that.

Nay: (softly) Yes

Mark: Do love a chupacabra

Nay: Yes!

Brennan: These movies are set in the Eighteen Hundreds--

Nay: Scary

Brennan: La Llorona is actually the second one, so I was like, "I hope I have enough context to understand what's happening in this movie!" This particular one takes place in (X), which is "The Cradle of Meso-American Farming". You learn so much! But anyway, so like I said I was a little nervous, but the opening scene, you know, it's kids running from La Llorona, it's a whole thing

Michael: (chuckling).Nervous?

Mark: (narrating as Brennan) "My fingers trembled as I pushed 'Play'..."

Michael: (as Brennan) "So baby, do we wanna do this?"

Brennan: I was just like, "How much context am I missing from not having seen the first movie?"

Michael: (as Catherine O'hara's character on Schitts Creek) Bay-beh

Brennan: At first I was great, but then the second scene is where we catch up with our main characters. Which is a young boy, an ancient knight, a dragon and two skeleton children in a hot air balloon

Nay: Yo, that sounds good

Michael: Yeah, I'm in

Ben: I'm into it

Mark: You sounded like Stefan just now

Michael: (as Stefan) "It had everything…"

Mark: (as Stefan) "La Llorona has everything…"

Brennan: There's also the ghost of a young girl who is like a Paris Hilton wannabe

Michael: Oh yeah, that is totally Stefan

Mark: Did like, La Llorona kill her?

Michael: Pole through her head?

Brennan: No no no, she was a ghost in the previous movie

Mark: (disappointed) Ohhh

Brennan: As you might have known if you'd seen La Leyenda de La Nuala, which I have not seen

Mark: Got it

Michael: Shoot. I missed that one

Brennan: It's basically like if the voice actors from Pokemon were in a Looney Tunes cartoon directed by Tim Burton. It's very kiddie, but also pretty spooky at the same time. There's a creepy island full of living puppets that's part of this whole deal

Nay: I like that

Michael: Huh. I kind of dig that

Nay: Yeah

Mark: I love that this movie sounds like Mad Libs

Michael: It literally does. You're right. It sounds like a Stefan sketch

Mark: Yeah. You've been saying a bunch of stuff, and I'm just like, "This is one movie?"

Nay: Yeah

Michael: John Mulaney wrote this for him to read

Brennan: No, it's truly bananas

Michael: Yeah. What's the animation look like, if you don't mind me asking. Is it digital, is it hand-drawn?

Brennan: It was interesting, because the backgrounds were mostly 3D animated, or at least by my untrained eye

Michael: Uh-huh

Brennan: But the characters are 2D animated. I don't know if that's on a computer or hand-drawn or whatever the situation is

Nay: Interesting

Brennan: But it's an interesting contrast

Michael: Yeah, that does sound cool

Brennan: Yeah. It was cool. I wouldn't say it was like, beautiful necessarily, but it was interesting and it was drawing me in

Michael: It was unique?

Brennan: Yeah. It was definitely unique

Michael: Cool

Brennan: This movie, a little bit pulled its punches with the story of La Llorona in terms of she didn't actually kill her kids in this one. Her kids did straight-up the hell die, but it was more of an accident

Nay: (skeptically) Sure…

Brennan: They were rafting, and she saw that her house was on fire--

Mark: She was framed

Brennan: No, she went to put out her house--

Michael: She pulled a prank on them

Brennan: And the kids floated away down the river on the raft and just drowned in the process

Mark: Oh, she's just neglectful

Brennan: Basically

Mark: She's just a shitty mother

Brennan: Still one of the creepier cinematic La Lloronas that I have come across. Like, when she's floatin' around beng all sad and wailing, it was actually pretty eerie and atmospheric. It was an interesting movie, I'd say like, six out of ten. It was very-- it was for children, it was for children

Michael: Brennan, I smell a La Llorona book in your future

Mark: Yeah

Brennan: Oh! I'm definitely writing an article. Stay tuned

Michael: You should do a whole book

Brennan: I should!

Michael: Mmm-hmm

Brennan: I mean, yeah. I really actually want to talk to Lorena Villareal who directed that telenovela-esque one that I really liked, from 2004

Michael: Oh, yeah

Brennan: I wanna know why she was thanked in Roma, I wanna know her whole history. And I want to hire her for something

Michael: I hope you get to go to a press event of The Curse of (La Llorona)

Brennan: Oh, I certainly will not be invited

Nay: (sing-song) Join the club!

Mark: "In fact, I received a restraining order! From the filmmakers of…"

Brennan: Although on Twitter, the real La Llorona did reach out, so it's been very exciting

Mark: Oh, that's so nice

Michael: I think I did see that

Mark: She loves her fans

Brennan: She does! I asked for signed photos. She said to meet her down by the river, so I'm gonna do that right after the recording

Nay: (chuckling) O-kay

Mark: Oh my God! I love that

Brennan: It's gonna be great

Mark: Oh, it's so great when you meet your idols

Brennan: I know. I hope she doesn't turn out to be mean or something

Michael: I hope it turns out to be Rachel Dratch

Nay: ''Oh. My. God.''

Mark: And she's like (as Rachel Dratch) "Hi! Oh, you have a pen?" Glug glug glug!

Michael: I love her

Nay: Oh, me too

Mark: The best

Michael: So fuckin' funny. I love that she shows up in everything. She showed up on Last Week Tonight a couple of weeks ago, it was like, "What the fuck is she doing?"

Mark: I love her so much

Michael: Her and Cole Escola, I want them to do a romantic comedy together

Mark: Make it so, internet

Brennan: Oh! One last thing! There's a pun about cheeseballs that does not translate, but it's hilarious

Nay: 'Kay

Brennan: Anyway, moving on

Michael: Mark is dead

Nay: (to Mark) You love cheeseballs

Mark: (laughing) Oh my God! (laughing).I'm just… cheeseballs… bollas de queso?

Michael: Those are tasty

Nay: It's a kids' movie

Brennan: Uh, no

Michael: Like a cheese puff or incredible cheese

Mark: What? No, that's… my horrendous Spanish from this...

Brennan: It's like a slang term and I wasn't super familiar with it myself but It sounded like she was saying, "higos". And so, La Llorona says, "Ah, mis hijos!" But one time there's a fake scare where it's just a little girl going, "Ai, mis higos!" And it turns out it's just her and not La Llorona. Anyway

Nay: Kids are annoying

Ben: I love that's your takeaway

Michael: "Kill them all!"

Mark: "Drown them!"

Brennan: She was so annoying

Nay: Speaking of annoying kids…

Michael: Fucking annoying kids

Nay: Annoying and crazy kids

Michael: Forty-year-old kids

Nay: Do we have a movie for you

Mark: Holy shit

(X) in the Sorority Row trailer: If we all stick to the same story no one will ever know

Mark: Spoiler alert: Everyone's lives are ruined by beng in Sorority Row. Oh my God

Nay: Ben! We let our guests choose the movie we discuss

Ben: I'm sorry, everyone

Nay: No!

Mark: Are you mad at us?

Ben: This literally feels like in my book club, the last time I picked a book, everyone was just like, "I hated it."

Nay: "Fuck you." (laughs)

Michael: He actually picked the Sorority Row screenplay for the book club

Mark: What was the book?

Ben: Uh, it was…

Michael: The Sorority Row screenplay

Ben: The House of Impossible Beautis

Mark: Oh, I don't know that book

Ben: Uh, it's--

Mark: They were like, "No! Fuck you!"

Ben: No, there was this one guy who legitimately was like mad to be sitting there discussing this book, and I'm just like…

Brennan: He didn't have to come

Michael: I think Sorority Row is trashy, I think it's trashy fun

Ben: And I feel like that's what's happening now

Mark: No

Ben: "It's trashy fun", mmm-hmm.

Nay: No, it was really fun

Michael: Mmm-hmm. I had a good time. I've seen it like three times, so--

Nay: Yeah

Mark: I like to clutch my pearls around trash--

Ben: Totally

Mark: And be like, (haughtily) "How dare you!"

Ben: (haughtily) "How dare you!"

Mark: But mostly I'm also like, "I'm seriously glad that we got to talk about this."

Michael: I always like a good (indistinct) too

Nay: So, Sorority Row. Why did you pick Sorority Row, Ben?

Ben: I picked Sorority Row-- when I first…

Michael: He's actually Rumer Willis

Ben: I am. That was me with a wig. No, when I first saw it in theaters--

Michael: Oh, good for you!

Ben: I saw it in theaters (pause for applause from Michael) When I saw it in theaters, the trailer and the poster and everything just set it up to be this very basic slasher film and I was just like, "Ah. I'm gonna go see that." 'Coz I will see anything in theaters that is slasheriffic. But then when I saw it, I laughed my ass off. Like I thought it was so funny, there was some campy quality to the whole thing I just loved. And Leah Pipes, who plays Jessica, I think she is--

Mark: Sociopath

Michael: She really is, it's amazing

Ben: She's my queen. She had all of these amazing one-liners and I'm just like, "Oh, we don't deserve this."

Michael: I do laugh out loud every single time they find Megan's rotting corpse

Brennan: Oh, I have a clip of that

Ben: Oh yes+

Nay: (as X) "She looks awful!"

Ben: Yes!

Michael: (as X) "She looks terrible!"

Brennan: I have a clip if you guys wanna hear that

Michael: And Brianna Evigan's character is just like, "Oh, it's Megan." So no one's like, "Rotting corpse?!?"

Ben: Yeah

Mark: I just wanna go ahead and say that Sorority Row is definitely the best movie where Audrina Patridge is rolled in a blanket and dropped down a mineshaft, okay? I'm just gonna say--

Ben: This is the best of that genre

Mark: It absolutely slaps in that very particular Blockbuster section

Michael: Well I love that they talk about dismembering her--

Nay: You do love that part!

Michael: And throwing her in a lake…

Ben: Uh-huh

Michael: But then they decide, "Well, it's a whole body so we have to throw that down a mineshaft."

Mark: Yeah

Michael: Throw the head in the lake!

Ben: Because the dismembering part was when she was still alive, when they were still playing the prank

Michael: Ohhh, right

Ben: And they were just trying to make it sound as terrible as possible

Michael: Part of the prank was "Grab sharp rocks so we can dismember the body"

Mark: Keep 👏 up 👏 Michael! 👏

Ben: And then they said something about having to puncture her lungs to get the air out

Nay: Correct

Ben: And that's where the whole prank goes south

Nay: Garrett lost it

Michael: (whispers) Garrett

Nay: (chuckling) Oh, Garrett

Mark: I think the big takeaway for me in this movie right off the bat is, you know, someone like Leah Pipes who is-- she literally seemed like the meanest realtor. Ever

Ben: Yeah

Nay: (laughing) Those pearls!

Ben: Meanest realtor for sure

Mark: Yeah, like she was having-- oh my God

Michael: Future Bachelorette

Mark: Oh my God, yeah! "I'm not here to make friends," yeah. She was gonna--

Michael: (as Leah Pipes) "Austin's gonna get my heart, not yours."

Mark: (as Leah Pipes) "Hey, can I borrow him for a sec?"

Michael: Mmmmmm, I like that

Mark: But she-- like you said, there's laugh lines and whatever, but watching it-- I also saw it in the theater, out of sheer I don't remember why, but I do remember seeing it

Ben: Yeah

Mark: And then revisiting it this week, I was watching and thinking, "Oh, this was written as a pitch-black comedy. This was written-- and it seemed the director did not know this or either--"

Michael: Yes. I agree with you

Mark: Either did not know this or did not realize that washing everything in green? All the time was going to tonally make it feel weird. But if this had felt more like Legally Blonde gone berserk?

Ben: Oh yeah

Mark: I think it could've been kind of super fun. So, y'know, I dunno. But as it is, this movie gave me the clap.

Michael: Well, that's the thing. It felt like half of them knew it was camp, and the other half didn't

Mark: Yeah, no. There's actors in this movie that have zero--

Michael: They're playing straight-up. They're doing drama

Mark: Who ever played Audrina's sister?

Michael: Ahhh, my God, I loved her

Ben: Ohhhh

Mark: Legend.

Ben: Yeah

Mark: I dunno who she is. I was like, "Are you a teenage runaway that like, stumbled into this?"

Ben: Has she worked again?

Mark: "How did you…?"

Michael: They found her in that house on a location scout

Mark: But she has no reaction to anything

Michael: I love at the end when they're doing the Theta Pi thing…

Ben: Her big, vacant eyes

Michael: And her head is doing this. I'm like, "Who is she looking at?"

Mark: Yep

Michael: That's my favorite. Brian rewound that like three times

Ben: So good

Nay: (sotto voce) Okay, Brian

Mark: Well, she learned it from watching Audrina

Nay: How do y'all feel about pranks, in general?

Michael: I'm not a huge prank person

Nay: Fuck no

Michael: Right?

Nay: They're horrible. I want everyone--

Michael: They always go too far

Nay: There's just no point! And it's not just because I really hate nonsense. I just want everyone in my life to know it's not funny.: Don't take my keys, my wallet, my phone, act like they're gone, pretend that my Mom died, like nothing

Ben: Pretend that your mom died? Well, that's--

Nay: No, people do, people do stupid shit like that

Michael: Brian had fake blood for Halloween one year

Nay: No, fuck you Brian

Michael: And he screamed in the bathroom

Nay: No!

Ben: No

Michael: He goes, "Ow!" And I knew he was shaving. And I just, in the bedroom was like, "You okay?" And he didn't answer me, and I just kept going, "Is everything all right?" And I did not get up. So he walked into the bedroom with his hand on his neck and blood, and I'm like, "That's not real, honey." And he's like, "Dammit!" But he had then told me that one time he was gonna lie on the kitchen floor, covered in blood and see what I was gonna do. I was like, "I would've killed you."

Mark: It's like, "I would break up with you."

Michael: Yeah, it's like, "You would be single."

Nay: First of all, you are going to pay my therapy costs for the rest of my life--

Michael: (giggling) He's gonna kill me for real when he hears this

Nay: No. I would probably end a relationship over that

Brennan: Oh-ho yeah

Nay: Like, it's really not funny to me

Michael: He asked, "What would you have done?" I would've moved out.

Nay: Yeah, fuck you

Ben: Bye

Mark: I feel like people know not to pull pranks on me, because I'm the person that if you take me to Knott's Scary Farm or whatever, I can't go through a haunted house-- you know that scene in Ferris Bueller's Day Off when Jennifer Grey catches the principal there and she kicks him in the face?

Michael: Mmm-hmm.

Mark: That's me in every haunted house

Nay: Yes!

Mark: I can't abide it. I will literally watch any scary movie. But, the second you put me into a situation where I am scared? My body does not understand fake. My body goes into fight or flight…

Michael: I getcha

Mark: Okay, for example. In Orange, and it moved, I think it's coming to Culver City in a couple months, but there is a VR experience called Alien: Descent--

Michael: Oh, yeah

Brennam: Yeah, at the Outlets

Michael: Bryan went to that, right?

Mark: Uh, yes. Went with Bryan and holy shit. This was a full-body kind of experience where I had not done it before, but you literally were on LV-426, you're looking at facehuggers, you have a pulse rifle--

Nay: No.

Mark: You're in an elevator that is shaking--

Michael: Oh, I want it, gimme this

Mark: And Xenomorphs are shaking it, they're jumping up, crawling in--

Ben: Super into this

Michael: Oh, me too

Mark: It's amazing. But the first time I did it, I literally screamed the entire thirteen minutes that it lasted

Ben: Oh, I love

Mark: I screamed like a crazy person

Michael: I hope Bryan recorded it

Mark: And he was like, he was like, "It's okay, it's okay!" And I'm like, (pretending to scream) "They're coming everywhere! We're gonna fucking die!!!!" (normal voice) I lost my shit. And afterwards, I was like, my body did not know that was just a fun little game. My body does not-- I don't understand, it just doesn't understand. So no

Ben: I personally love being scared so much. Love haunted houses

Michael: Same

Nay: (sotto voce) Oh my God

Ben: The initial scare happens, and then I scream and then I laugh uncontrollably

Michael: Same. It's so fun

Ben: Like I have such a great time. And because of that, I definitely have done some pranks. Nothing crazy. But I have definitely hid in a closet for up to fifteen, twenty minutes, waiting for the person that I am trying to scare to come into the room--

Nay: Oh, no

Ben: And I'm just like, "I'm gonna wait right here, I'm gonna be so quiet. It's gonna be so worth it." And sometimes it is

Michael: Yeah

Ben: And I laugh so hard!

Michael: In Brian's defense, I love the same stuff Ben was just talking about, so I think Brian thought it would be funny to do that to me? As part of a Halloween trick, and I was like, "No. Nothing like that, please."

Ben: No, that's not scary, that's like life changing-ly terrible

Michael: (softly) That's mean

Brennan: Yeah

Michael: I'm glad he did do it. Good job, honey!

Brennan: Me, too! Mark, I'm right there with you on the real-life haunted house scares, it's just too much.

Mark: Yep

Brennan: I cannot handle it

Mark: Nope

Michael: I'm like, "Inject it in my veins!"

Mark: I would punch each and every one of those non-union actors

Nay: Absolutely. They fucking deserve it! Fuck you

Michael: They really commit, too

Brennan: Yeah.

Brennan: But the thing is, I really detest and abhor horror pranks as an adult, but we all have a past we're not proud of. In elementary school I was the king of April Fools Day

Nay: Oh, lord!

Michael: Ooooh

Ben: Oh, no

Michael: Did it say so in the yearbook?

Brennan: No. I wasn't that (indistinct)

Nay: What the fuck did you do?

Brennan: Here's what happened: I put salt in my Dad's sugar bowl, and he always put sugar in his cereal in the mornings, he used to do that. And he would get so mad, because I was ruining his breakfast. And you know, it's the morning and you are not prepared to be emotionally dealing with eating a bowl of, mouthful of salt

Ben: No

Nay: Your dad's like, "Fuck these kids!"

Ben: That's the wrong time

Mark: I'd abandon you

Nay: You're never eating cereal again

Brennan: Here's the thing: I'm not proud of this, but I am, 'coz I was a very smart child. But a year after that, or I did it for a couple years, and eventually he started catching on. So what I did was I put salt in the sugar bowl, but I put a thin layer of sugar on top so when he tested the sugar--

Ben: Oh, shit

Brennan: It tasted like sugar--

Michael: Ahhhhh

Ben: That was diabolical

Nay: You little creep

Brennan: And when he dipped the spoon in...

Michael: You fucker

Nay: Yeah

Ben: Diabolical!

Mark: Brennan Klein, child monster

Ben: Yeah

Nay: Oh my God

Brennan: And that's my prank legacy

Michael: (as Brennan) "And that's the day my Dad left."

Brennan: He went out to get sugar and he never came back

Mark: Yeah, exactly!

Brennan: Anyway, I regret all that except for I glued a penny to the concrete in front of my house.

Michael: Oh that's funny

Brennan: It's still there

Nay: Wow

Ben: Oh, that's funny

Michael: So, for people who haven't seen the movie--

Brennan: It's a lot of salt stuff

Michael: It starts out with a prank about Audrina Partridge's boyfriend had cheated on her--

Mark: It's Patridge

Michael: Patridge, I'm sorry. Cheated on her, so they, her sorority sisters, who includes his real-life real sister, give him roofies to give to her, so he can have with her, and that's the point?

Mark: But apparently they're not roofies, they're just like Alka-seltzer?

Ben: Yeah

Michael: And they're like, her playing dead

Nay: Yeah. So he thinks--

Michael: He thinks he's gettin'--

Nay: He thinks he's date raping her and he's fine with it

Michael: Yeah

Ben: Oh, man

Michael: She's really, "Prank!"

Nay: She's like(as Audrina Patridge) "I got fake puke in my mouth waiting for the perfect mome!"

Mark: Good, clean fun

Michael: Yeah. He's like jamming his tongue down her throat. I'm like, "Where was she hiding that puke?"

Ben: Oh, God

Nay: Seriously

Michael: Y'know? And then she goes in fake convulsions and has--

Nay: Mmm-hmm

Michael: Foam coming out of her mouth, and puke and passes out so he thinks that she's dying, so they go to-- he thinks she died

Nay: Yes. They think she is dead

Michael: So they go to destroy the body

Nay: They drive out to an old mine

Michael: And then he stabs her with a tire-iron (chuckles) I love it!

Mark: You know what I love about this description? It feels like if The Hills did a Halloween special

Ben: You know it's coming back

Nay: Yeah

Mark: Because like the next sentence is, "Anyway, Audrina gets stabbed with a tire-iron right in her sternum and then Lauren and Heidi and Stephanie drag her to a mineshaft."

Michael: (as someone from The Hills) "Last week…"

Mark: "Meanwhile, Spencer gets hit by the Chevy." I mean, yeah

Michael: I love that it's so like, wow. There's like three rape jokes right off the top

Nay: Oh yeah

Ben: It's so problematic, going back and watching it

Michael: Mmm-hmm

Ben: So I own this movie and I literally watch it at least once a month

Michael: Oh, that's funny

Ben: I'm sorry! I apologize!

Mark: No! Listen. Everybody has a movie skeleton in their closet, where it's like, "Fuck yeah I watch that shit on the regular."

Nay: Yeah

Michael: Mmm-hmm

Ben: Yeah!

Michael: Urban Legend is that for me

Mark: See?

Ben: (sighing) Oh yeah

Michael: I love Urban Legend

Nay: I came home from New Hampshire with two copies of Urban Legend, because Scream Factory-- hey listen, our Scream Factory friends, they've been, they accidentally sent my friend in New Hampshire like three copies of Urban Legend

Michael: Oh, wow, cool

Nay: He emailed them and was like, "Hey, you sent me an extra copy of Urban Legend,.I'll send one back." Doesn't hear from anybody and then (Urban Legends:) Final Cut pops up, he's like, "Okay, what's going on?"

Michael: He hit the right button at checkout

Mark: (to Ben) Is there an activity you like to do while you're watching (Sorority Row) on its monthly schedule?

Ben: Um

Michael: Oh, that's a good question. Folding laundry…

Ben: Yeah. It's a good folding laundry movie

Mark: Do you just cry? Like is it during your crying jags?

Ben: Sometimes. No--

Michael: He plays Audrina

Ben: It's a good folding laundry movie

Mark: Yeah

Ben: And it's a good just sitting there with a--

Mark: That's what I did when I watched it

Ben: Yeah. I mean, that, just having some popcorn

Mark: Like, "Where are these socks? Oh look, that one died."

Brennan: Yeah

Ben: Answering emails

Michael: (as Mark) "Josh, I'm gonna do another load." (as Josh) "Honey, you're taking clean clothes out of the dresser!"

Mark: It's weird because I agree the movie has weirdly matured into a kind of adorably sort of problematic? Like it's sort of so sexist and so misogynistic

Michael: It's over the top

Ben: Yeah

Mark: And so, like literally every death is weirdly blowjob phallic--

Nay and Ben: Yes

Mark: (griff straight voice as the killer) "I'm gonna force this bitch to suck my cock!"

Ben: Yeah. Something in the mouth

Nay: No

Ben: Yeah

Michael: It's like a Listerine bottle?

Nay: I loved that scene

Michael: That scene's great, though

Ben: That's so good

Mark: There's like a truly repugnant kind of like aspect to like--

Michael: Like Sleepaway Camp 's like--

Mark: Yeah

Michael: Like rich cousin

Mark: Like a rich cousin who kind of married up, like married up a little bit

Michael: Like came from Sleepaway Camp and went to Sorority Row

Mark: Judy went to college

Michael: (chuckling) Oh my God! Judy's Jessica

Mark: Judy went to college, yeah. (To Ben) Remember Judy from Sleepaway Camp?

Michael: Side pony?

Mark: With the side pony? You've never seen Sleepaway Camp?

Ben: I don't think I've seen Sleepaway Camp

Michael: Fuckin' monster

Mark: Oh man. If you like Sorority Row--

Nay: Well, you have Shudder now…

Ben: Yes

Nay and Michael: It's on Shudder

Ben: Great

Michael: It's Sorority Row times a hundred

Ben: I love it

Nay: You definitely should watch it, you'd enjoy it

Michael: Every person is a fucking asshole (laughs)

Nay: It's… yeah

Mark: It's really truly some of the most unattractive personalities you'll ever come across in a horror movie

Ben: Thinking about it, yeah, there's at least four deaths that involve a foreign object being lodged into a woman's head

Michael: So there's Chugs…

Nay: Oh, Chugs

Ben: There's Chugs…

Michael: And then Jessica gets a tire-iron through her throat, yeah

Ben: Jessica… Jamie Chung's character whose name I can't remember

Nay: Oh, the flare gun

Ben: She gets shot with a flare gun in the mouth

Nay: I love that scene--

Michael: That was actually a very good set piece

Nay: All the bubbles, or the foam, I loved that

Michael: That was a good set piece

Ben: Yeah

Nay: And the lights

Ben: And then the random naked girl in the shower gets it like, up through the bottom of her face

Michael: Oh, that's right

Nay: Yeah

Ben: But then you see it in her mouth

Nay: Yeah

Michael: I was happy we got to at least see like, man butt and abs. There was some

Nay: Lots of-- First, the opening scene, with the pillow fight, there's a lot of pajamas with the ass open

Mark: (amused, deep voice) Man butt

Ben: I remember sitting in the theater--

Mark: The lone woman of color, no, that's not true, there's Jamie Chung, but yeah, she's at the very beginning in that party and then she had the good sense to--

Nay: I was like, get the fuck out of that party

Mark: Leave that party--

Ben: Yeah, she leaves the party

Mark: She leaves the movie entirely. She's like, "No."

Michael: What were you gonna say, Ben?

Ben: Just like sitting in the theater and watching that first sequence, as a baby gay, like filmmaker wannabe, watching this thing, I was like, "This is beautiful! I love it so much!" And then as soon as Brianna (Evigan) started doing her choreographed dance number--

Michael: Oh my God

Ben: I was like, "I am in no matter what."

Nay: (laughing) Yo!

Michael: Had she done Step-Up yet?  Was this before or after Step-Up?

Ben: I think this was post..

Nay: 'Coz it wasn't the first one, right?

Ben: It was Step-Up To the Streets

Michael: It was Step-Up 4

Ben: Yeah

Michael: I think she was in part four

Ben: She was in Step-Up To the Streets

Michael: Like, is it a nod to Step-Up or Step-Up saw that and were like--

Nay: They were like, "Her! We want her."

Michael: "Get her in here!"

Ben: Because of that little two second little dance number

Mark: (gruffly) "Get me that girl!"

Michael: My favorite part in that scene though, is when her character walks up the steps and there's a dude standing against the wall, with a bathrobe completely open, flexing, drinking a beer solo and I'm just like, "What did they tell this extra?"

Ben: Yeah

Michael: I like, wanna know the--

Nay: "Be yourself."

Michael: Yeah (laughs)

Ben: "Just do it."

Nay: "Act naturally."

Michael: Hilarious. I'm like, he's hammered--

Mark: (sleazily) "You wanna get famous?"

Nay: When I rewatched this this week, and that first scene came on, I was like, "Oh Ben is gay gay."

Ben: Super gay, no joke

Nay: Like this is, gay gay. So good

Michael: That opening scene, honestly, it like, it sells the fun right away

Nay: Oh yeah

Michael: Even the opening song is the right kind of shitty, you know what I mean?

Ben: I feel like all the music is just that right amount of shitty. And it was actually, Lucien Gaines did all the music?

Michael: Yeah, I was just gonna say, I see he had done the music for that, yeah

Ben: Yeah. Speaking of incredibly problematic, because he's problematic, yeah?

Mark: Is he the guy, was he doing Drag Race?

Ben: Yeah

Mark: And now he's not

Michael: Yeah

Mark: Because he did some bad stuff

Michael: Yeah

Ben: Real bad stuff

Michael: Really bad stuff. Anyway

Mark: (faux chipper).Sorority Row!

Mark: You know, I don't know if anybody saw this today, but I thought again of Sorority Row today, when Lori Laughlin--

Michael: (gasps)

Mark: Before her court appearance--

Michael: In Boston?

Mark: Signing autographs?

Michael: Mmm-hmm

Mark: Signing autographs

Michael: And after

Mark: Which, by the way, chutzpah. Wow.

Michael: Right?

Ben: Oh, man

Mark: To be like, "Oh, who do I make it out to?" You know? Like, wow. But uh, I was like, "Oh."

Ben: That's ballsy

Mark: It's ballsy and it made me think about, y'know, I was like… I dunno, it just made me think of Olivia Jade and I was like, "Oh, she fits into a sorority house, Sorority Row kind of story."

Michael: Oh, one hundred percent, yeah

Mark: And I dunno. It feels like, maybe, as much fun as one can have with this movie, I feel like we've-- there's been a lot of stuff about binge drinking and sororities and fraternities and sort of rape culture, and those as well as now sort of like privileged assholes getting their positions at universities bought and paid for by their parents, I feel like now it's due for a reboot, but in a way that may be a little more you know, self-consciously bitchy funny, a little more topical. I dunno. Maybe I'm wrong

Michael: Mmm-hmm. Well, there's an interesting way to watch Sorority Row where you go, while watching it I actually had the thought of, "Ten years ago this just seemed so absurd."

Mark: Right

Michael: Watching it through today's lens, you're like, "These people actually aren't that unbelievable

Mark: No!

Ben: Mmm-hmm

Michael: These people exist.

Nay: Yeah

Michael: That Jessica? Monster sociopath? There's many of her in America

Ben: Yes

Michael: You know what I mean? The guys walking around, the dude that gets dumped by Jamie Chung and then immediately tries to bang Rumer Willis and then immediately tries to bang two other girls by taking them up through a painter's ladder or whatever?

Ben: Like underneath the--

Mark: Under a tarp?

Michael: Yeah. He was so ready to date rape, or rape, you know?

Ben: Yeah

Michael: It's like, okay, that guy exists. It's like watching it today, being older I think and just how social media culture has changed in the last ten years, I kind of had that thought while watching. "They're really not that far off."

Mark: I think that this movie would make a great trash double feature with Black X-Mas

Michael: Yes! Same theme

Mark: Because they both have a very, they're both you know, sorority movies. They're both about really really unpleasant people--

Michael: Yeah

Mark: Just like truly-- like even the character like Chugs, like you feel like the movie is sort of half-heartedly trying to get you to-- she's like, "Here I am in a spiral of self-destruction."

Michael: Yeah. (as Chugs)."I'll do anal for Oxy."

Mark: But it's like--

Nay: (laughing) Yeah!

Mark: But the movie's like, "Isn't it funny how she's such a slut? Isn't it funny that she's so broken?"

Ben: Speaking of that, that scene--

Michael: She's twenty-one

Ben: That scene before she, when she's in the bathroom preparing to go have sex--

Nay: Oh my God

Ben: With her psychiatrist and she looks in the mirror and she's like, "Cheers, slut!" That actually made me so sad!

Michael: Yeah!

Ben: I was like, "Oh, girl!"

Michael: That's like, her stock in herself

Mark: Here's the thing. I think-- (to Ben) I don't know you very well, but you seem like a relatively sensitive person, and empathetic. So, I think that in the script, I have a feeling that in the script that sort of, that character was painted a little more, was probably-- that writer was probably like you know, "Oh, she's going to seem really damaged or broken."

Ben: Oh no

Mark: I was like, "This is directed as a fucking pure comedy. There's no like--"

Ben: They definitely didn't want it to be like that

Mark: (chuckling) No!

Ben: 'Cause these guys wrote Piranha 3D and (Piranha).3DD

Mark: What?!

Ben: Yeah

Mark: Oh, wow. So it's just misogyny!

Michael: And they wrote Jigsaw...

Ben: So it's just misogyny

Mark: Nevermind, it's just misogyny! Here I am, trying to be on the side of the writers

Ben: It's just misogyny

Nay: Yeah

Mark: And I enjoyed Piranha (3D)

Ben: I loved those movies

Michael: One of her first lines is about how great having sex on roofies is

Ben: Yeah

Michael: To her own brother

Nay: Yeah. She's like, "You get laid and a good night's sleep!"

Ben: Oof

Mark: (as Chugs) "You know what I love you guys? Rape!" (normal voice) What the fuck? What the fuck?

Ben: She says that several times

Mark: Gross

Nay: The most misogynistic part of that is that someone could thoroughly, thoroughly enjoy fucking their therapist for oxy and not be like, "I have--"

Ben: Damaged or weird about it, yeah

Michael: Or a slut, or--

Nay: Yeah, or, "Cheers to you, slut. About to get a refill," you know?

Ben: Mmm-hmm

Michael: "About to go see the pharmacist."

Nay: But no, they're clearly like, "We want you to want sex like this, but if you do, we're gonna have you hate yourself for it. And then you're gonna fucking die with a bottle down your throat."

Michael: That's a good point

Nay: Which was so good!

Michael: It was a good death

Nay: Oh, I love that death, yeah

Michael: It is a really good death. (amused) Chugs

Ben: Chugs!

Michael: What is the main character's name?

Brennan: Ellie?

Michael: The final girl?

Ben: Cassidy

Michael: Cassidy

Brennan: There's a million final girls

Ben: Yeah

Michael: At least Black Christmas (2006) had like, Katie Cassidy

Mark: That's right

Michael: Like, compared to Briana Evigan--

Ben: I love--

Michael: She has such nuance and skills. I actually really enjoy Katie Cassidy in most other things she's in

Ben: I love Katie Cassidy

Mark: I have to say that the entire female cast of Sorority Row seems like they're doing the movie under duress. There's a kind of like, terseness to all of them that doesn't seem like they're college students. It seems like, it's like they've been blackmailed into doing this

Ben: They've been in the trenches together

Mark: Yeah, there's like a toughness to the whole endeavour

Michael: What did I text you? That "Jessica is a forty-two year-old mom from Nashville"?

Mark: Oh my God

Nay: Why they do Carrie like that? Carrie Fisher?

Michael: Right?

Nay: I'm like, she can't hit anything with that

Michael: Right

Mark: The note that I wrote when she came on was like, "Oh, God. I forgot. Carrie Fisher. Why?"

Michael: The thing I didn't understand about her, so she comes back at the end, right? So she's already got the gun, she doesn't know there's a killer on the loose so why is she walking around with a gun? She finds out after she runs into them

Nay: That might just be her vibe

Michael: Or maybe she was ready to kill some fuckin' bitches

Ben: She was like, "There's this party going on," yeah

Nay: She's like, "Y'all annoying as fuck. I'm clearly gonna have to walk around with a shotgun when I get back to the house."

Ben: But it's also when they discover the first actual dead body. Like, yeah, there's weird shit going on--

Michael: Is that Mickey that they discover?

Ben: Yeah

Michael: They discover him pretty late, too

Ben: Yeah. But even then they're just like, "Oh, is that Mickey?" "Yeah." "I'd recognize those ugly shoes anywhere."

Mark: (as a vapid sorority girl) "Oh my God, a dead body."

Nay: "Get his cellphone!"

Michael: I love how they're like, "Is he dead?"

Ben: Well, he's got a fucking tire iron through his head

Mark: Well that's the thing--

Michael: And he's hanging upside down! He gets it in the head, too

Ben: Yeah

Mark: It seems like the movie can't quite figure out if it wants to be a Heathers-y send up of…

Michael: Greek culture?

Mark: Greek culture and sort of like the kind of horrible, the horrible people it might breed, but--

Michael: Well, that's the thing, the thing I really enjoy about the original (House on Sorority Row) is the original does try to give you a sense of likeability with all the girls in that movie

Mark: I love the first one

Michael: The first one's great, it's a really 4great movie

Mark: And as listeners know, our theme song, by Von Kiss samples The House on Sorority Row. Jodi Draigie's infamous (as Jodi Draigie being sampled in the show's theme) "How do we-- how how how do we know--?"

Michael: (as Jodie Draigie being sampled in the show's theme) "How do we know she is alive?"

Nay: (as Jodi Draigie being sampled in the show's theme) "...she is alive?"

Mark: It's truly one of the greatest--

Michael: Line deliveries

Mark: Of all time

Michael: Ever

Nay: Yeah

Mark: Of all time

Michael: Ever. And like, those same setup prank, you know, I'm always on the fence about movies that do a prank or you know, where the people do something that causes what happens, like nine months later--

Mark: Like Prom Night (1980)

Michael: Yeah. But The House on Sorority Row handles it pretty well, where you actually still feel sorry for them

Mark: Yeah

Michael: And I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) does it pretty well, too. Where even though they hit-and-run kind of, you feel for those characters and what they're going through, but this movie does not

Nay: Oh, you don't feel for any of them

Michael: Uh-uh!

Nay: You're fucking stupid. And annoying

Ben: Yeah

Michael: Yeah. Love it

Ben: And that's all I want in a movie

Mark: And they honestly--

Michael: Downloading FriendPin on my phone so I can search for Mark and Brian

Nay: (chuckling) Oh my God!

Ben: Oh my God

Mark: They all look like they're seventh year seniors

Michael: Like they're Van Wilders?

Mark: I don't need people to look like young-young but I mean if you're casting high school, or if you're casting college, look at (indistinct), I mean

Ben: But what's funny is that they actually were that age

Michael and Mark: No!

Ben: Yeah! Because I mean, this came out in--

Mark: Then the makeup person should have been fired

Michael: 2009

Ben: This came out in 2009. I wanna say--

Michael: Rumer Willis is like, thirty now, right?

Ben: Yeah, they're all around like thirty, thirty-two

Nay: How old was Jamie Chung-- she was like--

Mark: She was by far the youngest

Michael: Jamie Chung was just around that age too--

Nay: Yeah

Michael: Because she had just come off of The Real World

Nay: You can't be over twenty-five on The Real World

Michael: Mmm-mmm!

Nay: Yeah

Ben: On MTV

Nay: Oh my God, I remember when I hit twenty-five I immediately thought about, "Wow. I could never be on The Real World now."

Michael: I actually do like Jamie Chung in the movie

Nay: I liked Jamie Chung in The Real World

Michael: She has--

Ben: I do too. She's incredible

Nay: She's my favorite

Michael: She probably has, like they give her the most thankless role?

Mark: Yep

Michael: Where she doesn't have a lot to do, but she does the best that she can

Mark: Well, she wanders around in foam, screaming in a bikini

Nay: Except give Jessica multicultural clout. You remember in the--

Mark, Michael and Ben: Oh yeah

Nay: (as Jessica) "I have you around…"

Mark: (as Jessica) "You're my Asian friend. You make me seem multicultural…"

Ben: (as Jessica) "Without trying."

Nay: (as Jessica) "Without trying." (normal voice) I'm like, "At least say it." 'Coz there's people that feel that way. They're like, "No, I love you!" Checking boxes the whole time

Ben: Oh, God

Michael: Her death scene is pretty great. The foam and everything?

Mark: But that's the thing, that's the difference. I don't think the movie totally knew that--

Nay: Right. No

Mark: I dunno. It's a really weird experience to watch Sorority Row!

Ben: I think it inadvertently makes comments on things that like now, looking back at it, it's like, you could see it as maybe they were trying to say something, but it's like, no, they were just trying to make a movie where they get to kill scantily clad women

Michael: Well, you've gotta remember ten years ago people were still saying shit like this thinking it was okay

Ben: Yeah, yeah, yeah

Michael: So

Ben: Totally

Mark: And you know, and yet, for all its flaws, Sorority Row for most of it's running time is giving you the idea that maybe, maybe Audrina Patridge is running around--

Nay: Yes

Mark: And killing coeds

Michael: (sotto voce) Oh, I love that image

Mark: And it makes-- you know what? I gotta say, it makes my tiny heart grow just a little bit larger for Sorority Row

Michael: I wish they had the courage to just go there

Ben: Those cowards

Michael: And just have her be the killer

Nay: Yeah, I would've loved that so much

Michael: She's like, (as Audrina Patridge) "Ha ha! Sorry!"

Nay: (chuckling) Yeah. (as Audrina Patridge) "Broke my back falling down that mineshaft, but…"

Michael: (as Audrina Patridge) "I haven't had a pedi in so long!"

Ben: (as Audrina Patridge) "Here I am!"

Nay: (as Audrina Patridge) "It's been eight months!"

Ben: I have to say that if I could find a man who would kill a bunch of people to like, keep a secret for me?

Michael: He's the hero!

Ben: That would be amazing

Michael: He's the hero of the movie. He's killing all these horrible fucking people

Ben: Yeah!

Nay: (chuckling) Oh my God

Michael: Yeah. He's the hero. He's the true hero

Ben: I actually-- so like, one of the reasons that I love this movie so much is his line explaining basically why he did this. And it's in his valedictorian speech. He says, "Reputation comes from the company you keep." And he says to Cassidy, "The company you keep? Bitches." And that is why he is killing them. and I just love that so much

Michael: Yeah, he doesn't want her to have to spend the rest of her life worried about it or something, is that what it was? And what's with the boyfriend chasing 'em with an axe?

Nay: I think it was 'cause it could really impact him

Michael: So he's not really the killer? Like, what is that about?

Nay: Yeah

Michael: (to Nay) What did you say, the impact?

Nay: He was ultimately like, "I don't wanna get dragged down in this shit. Like if wifey gets dragged down, I'm gonna get dragged down, too."

Michael: Yeah. Gotta kill everybody connected?

Nay: Yeah

Ben: Yeah

Michael: Poor Mickey

Ben: Poor Mickey

Nay: "Hey Mickey!"

Mark: I feel like we would be remiss not to mention the fact-- (chuckles) I screamed out loud… I was folding laundry and I screamed out loud when the three survivors--

Michael: Oh, then they walk out?

Mark: Leave the burning--

Michael: The way they're walking?

Mark: To this song called, "Get Away From Me" or something?

Ben: Yeah. (sings) "Get the hell away from me!"

Michael: (indistinct) and her sister?

Mark: Literally one of them is leaving a house on fire, but in her--

Michael and Mark: Bra and panties--

Nay: Knee socks (chortles)

Mark: And some diaphanous blouse, and she's walking like she wouldn't have third-degree burns--

Michael: Right

Mark: All over her body

Michael: She's walking like she's in a perfume commercial

Nay: She's like, "No, I wrapped a curtain around me. I'm totally fine."

Michael: After having a catfight while a killer's on the loose

Ben: Yeah

Mark: And that's one-- oh my God. And that's one of the things that like sort of makes me like, "What's happening here?" when I watch Sorority Row, because I just go, "This has to be done for laughs. This can't be serious! They could not have shot this thinking, you know, 'Yeah, this is good.'"

Michael: She spends the last thirty minutes of the movie in a white bra and white panties

Ben: Yeah

Mark: I know! As like, the place is burning down--

Ben: Crumbling down around them

Mark: She didn't even know to like, tear the drapes down?

Nay: Yeah! I'm like, you wouldn't even try to just jump over that? You're young and agile, able bodied

Michael: There was a door fuckin' behind her that she tore the drape off of

Mark: Yeah.

Nay: I can't

Michael: That's what I love about Jamie Chung's death scene, 'cause she tries opening the one door that's blocked by this portable heater, but then when she gets dragged away, Briana Evigan just opens the other door. And I'm just like, "This movie is amazing." And she's looking down, it's like, "Honey you're not going to get in the house, you have like a huge electrical cable wrapped around your ankle."

Nay: (laughing) Oh my God

Ben: Oh, God

Nay: Which person gave Audrina mouth-to-mouth in the beginning?

Ben: It was Jessica

Michael: Jessica

Nay: And was like, (as Jessica) "No tongue, bitch," (normal voice) or whatever she said. I'm like, she gave another lil' gay hint at some point, too

Michael: Mmm-hmm! She did

Nay: Yeah. She said something

Michael: I don't remember if she said something about going to take a shower and telling Cassidy not to follow her?

Nay: Oh yeah, something

Ben: Like "That's not an invitation," yeah

Nay: Invitation

Michael: And then she made the one girl leave the shower 'coz it was the senior shower, she made her take her clothes off?

Nay: Yes. Yeah.

Michael: Dyke.

Mark: Look, you know, the only place Jessica was gonna end up was Fox News, so, it's fine

Michael: Yeah

Ben: Oh my God!

Nay: Truly. That collar with pearls?

Mark: Doesn't she scream--

Michael: She's Tomi (Lahren)

Ben: Yeah

Nay: She is Tomi

Mark: Doesn't she scream "Fox and Friends"?

Michael: I was like to friends, "This is Tomi."

Ben: Oh, no

Nay: Oh, God

Michael: Now that you said realtor? One hundred percent

Ben: Yeah

Mark: It's true

Nay: Tomi would run over Garrett

Michael: Yeah. One hundred percent!

Mark: Shhhhh! If you guys say her name one more time she'll appear!

Nay: Please don't say it

Ben: Don't do it

Michael: With the fedora

Mark: With that white fedora

Ben: Yeah, we don't want it

Nay: Oh my God

Michael: What was the Senator's name?

Mark: I mean, she'll appear, she'll be a PostMate, but you know, she'll still appear

Michael: It was like, Senator Hudson? I don't know why his last name killed me, 'coz it's like the most generic name you could give a Senator in a movie like that? It's like no one involved in the movie actually knew what a Senator was

Mark: No

Michael: They just knew it was important

Ben: Yeah

Michael: "I'm gonna be the Vice President someday."

Mark: They knew they hang out in sort of oak paneled shadowy rooms

Nay: (chuckling) Ew, oak paneled

Michael: Brennan, can you figure out what his name is?

Brennan: Yeah sure, give me one sec

Michael: I think it's like Hudson or something, it's not that bad, but I just kept laughing because they just kept saying it and I thought it was so generic

Mark: (softly) Oh my God, this movie

Michael: Is there any scares? Any?

Mark: Umm…

Ben: Uhh…

Michael: Are there any scares? Does anyone remember any?

Mark: I think Chugs's death…

Michael: That had some suspense

Mark: Yeah. Also, I mean the therapist's death wasn't so-- was pretty...

Michael: That whole ordeal

Brennan: Oh, I have it! Senator Tyson.

Michael: Yeah! Generic

Mark: (amused) Senator Tyson

Ben: Like the chicken nuggets

Michael: Mmm-hmm!

Mark: Yeah. Senator Nuggets

Brennan: But also, I need to read you some of the credited characters in this movie

Nay: Oh, yes!

Ben: Please do

Brennan: Already Drunk Sister, Bra-clad Sister, Trampoline Sister, Amazed Senior Guy--

Michael: The fuck?

Brennan: And Over It Sister

Ben: Oh my God

Mark: Oh God

Michael: That had to have been the Black girl in the beginning

Nay: That's the Black girl that left!

Michael: I wanna follow her around. "Debbie, do you (indistinct)?"

Nay: Well, this Over It Sister is over it

Mark: Same

Michael: Theta Pi! Ch-ch-ch!

Ben: Theta Pi!

Ben and Michael: Theta Pi! Say goodbye! Theta Pi! Say goodbye!

Previous Episode
Episode 28: "Nature's Pocket" (w/Chingy!)

Next Episode
Episode 30: “The Loft of Lesbian ASMR” (w/ Jeff Nelson!)